Being open and available to be created from.....

I have no idea if any of you reading this will even understand the statement above, so let me try and explain. I believe that in order to create from other people and other things I first have to put my attention on them, I also believe that if I want others to create from me that I have to be open and available in order for them to do that.

In my line of work, Leadership and Coaching, I am the tools of my trade, there is nothing else, I carry my tool box around with me, my tool box is my body, heart and soul and if I my heart is open and available to be created from, even at the risk of having my heart broken, well then I am walking my talk and I am being the person in the world that I am meant to be.

Easier said that done I hear you say, well that is so true. I just had a realisation this week which has metaphorically 'taken my legs from under me'! You got it, I realised that there are times and situations in my life where I shut down, where I close myself off from others and I do not allow myself to be available to be created from. I can think of many situations that I have been working on with my coach, where the basic issue is, I take my toys home.... I go inside.... I close my heart to others.... I put up my armour and I stop being available.

Wow! What I huge realisation, as yet this is new and it is still unfolding, so I don't know why or how or can not make any sense of it, other than I know I do it, or did it, up until now!

As I type this blog I can feel my chest contracting, almost turning inwards which is the feeling that happens when I close myself off to others. I know it happens when I am feeling judged, I know it happens when I think someone is trying control me, I know it happens when I open my heart and then I find out that others either do not want to, or do not know how to open their hearts to me.

And here is the biggest learning, I allow myself to be compromised, I give in and become a victim of the circumstances, instead of understanding the others point of view and moving my perspective (allowing myself to be influenced) to align with the circumstances that now show up.
This is the biggest learning of all, I can, if I choose to, still do the same things, still be in the same circumstances AND to consciously choose to come from a more powerful perspective, which is open and available, rather than closed and unavailable.....

So from here on in I will notice when this happens and my intention is to try and stay open, even if my body had been trained (by me) to have a habitual reaction, which is to close.

More to come on this one, I know......

So, the more is here already (two days later), what has become clearer to me now is that when I notice that I am starting to feel compromised or to compromise myself, I can do one of two things to escape this trap.... I can either
a) consciously change the circumstances I find myself in OR
b) accept the circumstances and consciously change my perspective
This way I remain powerful and do not become a victim or compromise myself..

This is big learning and I am reminded what the great and the good in the leadership training world say that........ most leaders spend a lot of time understanding the practice of leadership, rather than practicing their understanding of leadership. Thank God I practice my understanding every day, it makes me a richer, more wholesome human being.

I love my work!