Monday, 4 April 2011
I feel compelled to write about my learning from a coaching class I led this weekend in London. The class was all about conscious choice and finding a powerful perspective to view your situation from, for the sake of creating from possibility rather than circumstance.
Firstly, I personally had a 'breakthrough' or 'light bulb' moment this morning myself about the way I was viewing the weekend and the attitude I had.... it was very powerful for me to realise that although my point of view was powerful, with one small 'tweak' I could have really shifted something that bothered me! I am so interested and excited about the simplicity of this work and yet the complexity of us as human beings. I think that is why, when we run these courses, every one is a different experience, with a different group and a different set of leaders.
It is a great lesson for all of us to know that we, as human beings, are the things that change our own and others experience of life. Also within the experience we share with others, we actually do not share the same experience, we may be in the same room, viewing the same material, coaching or working experentially with people - and still, we will not experience it in the same way! How cool is that!
Now when we expand that experience to the rest of our lives, of course that means that when we are in relationships with others, we are having different experiences in the same relationship. Doh! I hear you say! So, if that is true - how much permission do we give ourselves to get curious about what is going on for the other person? How much responsibility do we take for sharing our experience of the relationship with them? Or do we just default to blaming them or making them wrong! This is a huge subject to simply notice your own habits around.
Where are you blaming others for your attitude towards them, or your point of view on them??
Where are you stuck in the place of being a victim or villain or hero, any of these perspectives or points of view automatically create the other two roles for other people in your life.
So, you can't be a victim unless someone else is being the villain and if you are being the victim then your a probably waiting for someone to come and rescue you from the villain... and be your hero... this is so fascinating to explore. The only way out is to get into a more powerful perspective on the subject.
Finding powerful perspectives to view ourselves and the world creates a rainbow of colour in our lives, it removes the black and white and allows us to experience lots of colours, creativity and spontaneity in our lives. Can you imagine getting curious about how everyone else was viewing their experience of life and coming from a place of not knowing.... well that is our job as Coaches are Leadership Trainers.
How would being in a place of not knowing serve you in your life? What or who would you get curious about? What would there be to celebrate about that? What would be fascinating about that? I know some of you won't understand the next statement - and I know some of you will.
So, as I sit here on my 'Bench' and view my world, I see that I can create a more powerful experience for myself by making some very small 'tweaks'. Happy me!