Sunday, 30 March 2014

Consciousness and the 'Ripples' we send out

It's about ripples....

Imagine a large lake with clear still water and imagine you are standing on the bank, you pick up a stone and throw it into the center of the lake and then, with a 'plop' the stone lands in the center and disappears, yet the ripples it sends out are there for some time once the stone is gone.  I believe our ripples last long after we are gone too!

I believe we are all, always sending out ripples, I know I am and I know sometimes that I forget especially when I got back to habitual motion or when I go unconscious.  Just a little 'side bar' for a moment, I was just reminded of a beautiful metaphor that I stole from my Sister....  It goes like this...

When we start this work of consciousness our brains are like a puppy, they wander off all over the place and all we have to do is to notice that we have wandered off and bring ourselves back.  I giggle all the time about this metaphor as often my puppy has broken free and is off in the distance somewhere...  rather than running hard to catch it, I have to simply remember that I can call it back and it will come - that usually entails a couple of deep breaths and centering of my energy. 
How are you guys doing with your 'puppy' training?

Anyway, back to ripples, energetic ripples, what ripples are you sending out?  I know for myself, I have not always being conscious about them, what I also know is there are more ripples than we think. There are the situational ripples which of course are important and there are the ripples of how you live your life.  Are you living your life in a life-affirming way, for the good of humanity, yourself, your relationships, your workmates, your colleagues, your community, your world?

Are you even conscious of the ripples you are sending out?  So, lets explore some scenarios, my other favorite (other than the puppy metaphor) analogy of the moment is the one of the Drama or Tricksters Triangle.  You see it in every fairy story and most films and the roles are that of, the Victim, Villain and the Hero and by the way NONE of these roles are positive roles to play in life or work and yet we all do play them and most of the time unconsciously.

The next thing to say is you may not even know you are being cast in any of these roles, because other people put us in them, and also we normally do have a favoured role that we step into.  So, to explain further; the Victim's perspective is, it's not my fault, I can't change anything, it's being done to me and it keeps happening - I have no power!  The Victim, creates the Villain - the person who is doing 'it' to them, more often than not, this Villain is an Organisation, you know its 'them'.  Similarly, the Victim also wants to be rescued, so they will always cast someone else in the Hero role, this is the one who gets parachuted in to fix the problem (or to feed their Ego), when we do this, when we play the role of the Hero we ensure that their are plenty of Victims around for us to Rescue, and where there is a Victim there is always a Villain. 

So, the place to look is, which is your most common or favoured role? Where do you step into the triangle? and who do you cast in the other roles?  Also pay attention to who casts you in certain roles, as a people manager or a specialist you can often be looked to as the Hero.  The thing is that Hero's don't empower people, they dis-empower them.  Oh and one other thing is that these roles do not stay the same for long, because more often than not we step into these roles in order to place blame or be defensive and the minute we do that, we become the Villain or the Victim!

So, the point is, the only way to get out of the Triangle is to be conscious (get puppy training!) and to see what is happening, in your family system, at work, in your community - in any relationship!  Once you are conscious, then it is all about asking yourself ; What is needed for the sake of the bigger picture?  For the growth of the employee; for the desired outcome of the project; to improve Customer Satisfaction....

I'll come back to ripples on another blog as this is a longer post than I had planned.  Start to get that 'puppy training', start to notice where you go unconscious.... and find a way to bring yourself back and once you are back, start to pay attention to where you see the Drama or Tricksters triangle play out in your life.... It can be fun to notice it, and be aware the hardest role to step out of is the Hero! and that's because our Ego loves to be the Hero!

2 comments:

Heather Clarke said...

Thanks Ronnie for the great reminder that whether we are conscious about it or not we are continually sending out ripples. Speaks to the importance of living life with intention, having a vision for who you want to be and checking in with yourself on a weekly, daily, hourly basis as to whether or not you are living that vision!

Ronnie Clifford (PCC, CPCC) said...

Thanks Heather, yes as I remind myself every day. It is important to 'stay awake!'. Loving you Rx