So, depending on where I come from (or who I am being) the 'doing' will have a different meaning.
Am I going to the gym because I want to keep my body fit and healthy and honour my value of longevity? Or am I going to the gym because I 'have to!’
Am I hiring a coach because I want to the personal growth, or am I hiring a coach because it says I have to have one during my leadership programme? So I am fulfilling the requirements and 'ticking the boxes'.
Can you feel the difference in the 'come from’? One comes from an external place, so that this or that does or doesn't happen to me, or so that this or that person gets what they want. The other comes from a place of being connected to oneself and ones values....
The place you come from ‘infects’ the thing you are doing with the attitude you have in your approach to it. Where do you have an approach or an attitude that empowers and supports the things that you choose to do? Also, think about where you have an attitude or approach that dis-empowers the things you choose to do.
A very wise person once said to me that people typically show up in one of two ways, as a victim of circumstance or as someone who treats whatever happens to them as an opportunity to learn and grow… which type of person are you? Which type do you want to be?
As I write this I am reminded of the book ‘power and love’ by Adam Kahne and the distinction that he makes between ‘generative’ and ‘degenerative’ Power and Love….
I know that is a bit of a left turn for some of you, or maybe not. The point being that Generative Power and Love are the way to create real change in the world. What I mean by generative is to give power to, to empower people. To treat them as naturally creative, resourceful and whole, knowing that nothing is broken and nothing needs fixing.
I believe that we have Generative or Degenerative attitudes to things and to people and that depending on our attitude we may or may not have the impact we desire.
How do we step out of those degenerative positions and step into generative beings, who know we are loved and who know we are good enough. Who understand that we are loved and respected and that is true all of the time, not just some of the time. People don’t get upset with each other because of what they believe; people get upset because of a behaviour or lack of behaviour. Because we either do or don’t do something that someone was expecting.
How do we stop running away from people, how do we stay engaged, even and more importantly when the going gets tough? Staying engaged in a generative way and saying in dialogue and holding on to the fact that people don’t get upset with us as people, they just get upset at the way we behave. It’s really important to remember this in all of the systems we work in or are part of. Why? Well because we all make mistakes and if we can’t stay engaged life will become isolated and lonely.
Where do you stay and where do you run away?
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