Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Finding a life of fulfillment starts with the journey to Self-awareness........

If you score high on the self-awareness scale you will have some or all of these assumptions;
You'll know that you are inherently worthy and you'll feel secure from the Inside out.... and you'll know that it is not made up of how others see you, or by how you perform.
You know that inner development is the key to grow into more of who you are naturally and that we all, you included, contain a mix of strengths and weaknesses, of light and dark.
You know that the key to accepting others is to first do the work of self-acceptance, which enables you to know that when you find things that are unacceptable in others, it reflects aspects of yourself for which you are not taking responsibility.

The behaviours associated with scoring high on the scale of self-awareness are that you will show composure under pressure, knowing that others judgement of you matters less than your own internal compass.
You will be able to balance the demands of an adult life not sacrificing yourself or making yourself a victim or a martyr. You will not only be open to give and receive feedback you will openly welcome the opportunity to hear the impact your behaviour is having on others and strive to have the impact you intend.
You will also be willing and able to provide direct non-blaming feedback. In fact you will strive to provide information on the impact of behaviour on you plus point the other person to a place where they could have greater impact.
You are willing to admit your mistakes and use times when you fail as well as successes as a place to point yourself in terms of self-development.
You are willing and able to laugh at yourself and your situation and you take time to understand your own and others motivations, strengths and weaknesses.

So, self-awareness is where the journey from reactive strategies to creative competency starts. How aware are you of your internal assumptions and the behaviour they create?
Were do you solicit feedback and ask for areas of growth to focus on?

Or are you like me and say to yourself on a daily basis,
'Oh no, not another f***ing learning opportunity'....

Enjoy your journey of self-awareness and treasure every discovery as an explorer would when they find a new Island, country or animal species, be amazed by the complexity of the human race and be curious about the parts of yourself that you have yet to discover!

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

What is Self-awareness and why does it matter....

As I said earlier the Antidote to Protecting Strategy are the Creative Competencies of Self-Awareness, Authenticity and Systems Awareness. I will go on to talk about Self-Awareness in detail and before I do here is a reminder of the Assumptions and Behaviours that come from a learned and habitual use of the Protecting Strategy....

Assumptions are...
for me to be right, others have to be wrong
I am worthwhile if I am right and find the weakness in others
I am valuable because of my superior capability and insight
I am not good enough
I am safe and acceptable if I remain small, uninvolved and avoid risk

and Behaviours those assumptions create are....
Holding back and watching how situations unfold
Identifying what is wrong, illogical or lacking in plans, people or situations
Seeing the flaws in others thinking, feelings, speaking and actions
Always analyising what is right or wrong
Constant Judgement of self and others

The point of these blogs is to create the awareness that a fulfilled life comes from unlearning Reactive Strategies and re-learning Creative Competencies. A short cut to this is to get your Leadership Circle Profile done - so that you know where to start. Once you are certified in the TLC Profile, the Coaching Principles of Fulfillment, Balance and Process are the ideal tools to enable a coach to work with clients in service of their desire to move from the use of Reactive Strategies to Creative Competencies.

Anyway, back to the Creative Competency of Self-awareness as an antidote to the Reactive Strategy of Protecting.

Self-awareness is the on-going personal commitment to personal and professional development. It is also the degree to which your inner-self awareness is expressed through, balanced perspectives and high Integrity (values based) Leadership. This can be Leadership in your life and or Work, of your family, your community or your Leadership in fully expressing your lifes purpose. Please do not make the assumption that this is about Corporate Leadership only - it is that and it is much, much more.

If you have high Self-awareness then you have developed a sense of your life's purpose, you are vital and alive, you act from your internal compass (inner knowing, values etc). You consciously express your values in who you are being and what you are doing, you are trusted by others to 'walk your talk' and people respect you as someone who acts with Integrity (honours your values).

In addition, your sense of self-esteem is based upon an inherent appreciation of life as a journey of learning and development. You are not perfect and you accept that. In fact, you have a greater sense than most of your imperfections and you are always aware of making your peace with them.

You have the ability to be with the Paradox that shows up in yourself, others and the world. So, you accept the weak and under developed parts of yourself as a place to point yourself for inner growth, knowing that there will always be those parts in yourself and others.

You also admit it when you make mistakes and hurt others, and you use these experiences to improve your relationship with yourself and others.

You become less defensive when others criticize you, you are aware that the more you stretch yourself and follow your life purpose the more you leave yourself open to and available for the criticism of others.

You have less to defend because you are aware of the complexity within yourself, and this frees you up to engage powerfully and compassionately with others.

You lead in a way which strengthens the innate capabilities of others and when you see the weaknesses in others you are reminded of your own struggle to grow. Instead of Judging them you actually want them to grow and you actively want to be in service of their growth.

Others talents or successes do not intimidate you and this allows you to surround yourself with very capable people with whom you celebrate their achievements and growth!

How are you with holding the Paradox of right and wrong, strength and weakness, lightness and dark that lives within us all. Are you able to let go of living in a world of 100% either black or white, yes or no, right or wrong and invite the complexities of allowing these opposites to live within you and to allow them to live in the others around you??

Where are you on the scale of Self-awareness?
More to come on Assumptions and behaviours.....