It is interesting to me to 'simply notice' that we all (sweeping generalisation) go about not really thinking about the impact we want to have. No really, in every interaction you are having with everyone you are with, everyone you talk to, or not, you are having an impact - don't you think that it would be powerful to be conscious about the impact you want to have? I quote myself from the realisation I had of this, I said 'I'm having an impact anyway, I may as well be conscious of what I want that impact to be!'.
So, why don't we do this? What stops us bringing a positive energy into the discussions we have with loved ones, for instance? I know for me personally, I am more likely to think about it before I do my work, before a Coaching call or before leading a workshop and definitely before I go to an important meeting. Yet, when it comes to the people I love, rarely do I think about the energy I want to bring into those discussions.
I wondered for years about 'unintended impact', is that about me? or is it about the other person? does it matter if its not intentional? and what became clear to me recently is that it really does matter, and not just with the interactions with other, but also with the interactions I have with myself.
If I am at peace with myself and being kind, loving, nurturing and nourishing to myself, physically, mentally and emotionally then the energy I bring to my relationships with others, is kind, loving, etc etc... and I can be less conscious because I know it is my 'way of being', if however, I am not being all those positive things then I will bring another kind of energy to my relationships!
How are you in relationship with yourself?
How do you talk to yourself?
How balanced is your life? and I don't just mean work and home...
How do you nurture yourself and nourish yourself, physically, mentally and emotionally?
What energies do you bring to those around you?
Are they intentional energies? Or unconscious?
What is your intended or unintended impact?
Dig around, see what you find. Be curious about what you become aware of, don't judge yourself - it is what it is. The real question is, What do you want to do about it? Or even how do you want to BE about it!
Sending love to you all and as we prepare for Christmas around the world, bring positive loving energy to those you love, take care of yourself and love and nurture yourself and those around you. As you do this 'simply notice' the impact on yourself and others........Rx
Showing posts with label awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label awareness. Show all posts
Monday, 10 December 2012
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
What is Self-awareness and why does it matter....
As I said earlier the Antidote to Protecting Strategy are the Creative Competencies of Self-Awareness, Authenticity and Systems Awareness. I will go on to talk about Self-Awareness in detail and before I do here is a reminder of the Assumptions and Behaviours that come from a learned and habitual use of the Protecting Strategy....
Assumptions are...
for me to be right, others have to be wrong
I am worthwhile if I am right and find the weakness in others
I am valuable because of my superior capability and insight
I am not good enough
I am safe and acceptable if I remain small, uninvolved and avoid risk
and Behaviours those assumptions create are....
Holding back and watching how situations unfold
Identifying what is wrong, illogical or lacking in plans, people or situations
Seeing the flaws in others thinking, feelings, speaking and actions
Always analyising what is right or wrong
Constant Judgement of self and others
The point of these blogs is to create the awareness that a fulfilled life comes from unlearning Reactive Strategies and re-learning Creative Competencies. A short cut to this is to get your Leadership Circle Profile done - so that you know where to start. Once you are certified in the TLC Profile, the Coaching Principles of Fulfillment, Balance and Process are the ideal tools to enable a coach to work with clients in service of their desire to move from the use of Reactive Strategies to Creative Competencies.
Anyway, back to the Creative Competency of Self-awareness as an antidote to the Reactive Strategy of Protecting.
Self-awareness is the on-going personal commitment to personal and professional development. It is also the degree to which your inner-self awareness is expressed through, balanced perspectives and high Integrity (values based) Leadership. This can be Leadership in your life and or Work, of your family, your community or your Leadership in fully expressing your lifes purpose. Please do not make the assumption that this is about Corporate Leadership only - it is that and it is much, much more.
If you have high Self-awareness then you have developed a sense of your life's purpose, you are vital and alive, you act from your internal compass (inner knowing, values etc). You consciously express your values in who you are being and what you are doing, you are trusted by others to 'walk your talk' and people respect you as someone who acts with Integrity (honours your values).
In addition, your sense of self-esteem is based upon an inherent appreciation of life as a journey of learning and development. You are not perfect and you accept that. In fact, you have a greater sense than most of your imperfections and you are always aware of making your peace with them.
You have the ability to be with the Paradox that shows up in yourself, others and the world. So, you accept the weak and under developed parts of yourself as a place to point yourself for inner growth, knowing that there will always be those parts in yourself and others.
You also admit it when you make mistakes and hurt others, and you use these experiences to improve your relationship with yourself and others.
You become less defensive when others criticize you, you are aware that the more you stretch yourself and follow your life purpose the more you leave yourself open to and available for the criticism of others.
You have less to defend because you are aware of the complexity within yourself, and this frees you up to engage powerfully and compassionately with others.
You lead in a way which strengthens the innate capabilities of others and when you see the weaknesses in others you are reminded of your own struggle to grow. Instead of Judging them you actually want them to grow and you actively want to be in service of their growth.
Others talents or successes do not intimidate you and this allows you to surround yourself with very capable people with whom you celebrate their achievements and growth!
How are you with holding the Paradox of right and wrong, strength and weakness, lightness and dark that lives within us all. Are you able to let go of living in a world of 100% either black or white, yes or no, right or wrong and invite the complexities of allowing these opposites to live within you and to allow them to live in the others around you??
Where are you on the scale of Self-awareness?
More to come on Assumptions and behaviours.....
Assumptions are...
for me to be right, others have to be wrong
I am worthwhile if I am right and find the weakness in others
I am valuable because of my superior capability and insight
I am not good enough
I am safe and acceptable if I remain small, uninvolved and avoid risk
and Behaviours those assumptions create are....
Holding back and watching how situations unfold
Identifying what is wrong, illogical or lacking in plans, people or situations
Seeing the flaws in others thinking, feelings, speaking and actions
Always analyising what is right or wrong
Constant Judgement of self and others
The point of these blogs is to create the awareness that a fulfilled life comes from unlearning Reactive Strategies and re-learning Creative Competencies. A short cut to this is to get your Leadership Circle Profile done - so that you know where to start. Once you are certified in the TLC Profile, the Coaching Principles of Fulfillment, Balance and Process are the ideal tools to enable a coach to work with clients in service of their desire to move from the use of Reactive Strategies to Creative Competencies.
Anyway, back to the Creative Competency of Self-awareness as an antidote to the Reactive Strategy of Protecting.
Self-awareness is the on-going personal commitment to personal and professional development. It is also the degree to which your inner-self awareness is expressed through, balanced perspectives and high Integrity (values based) Leadership. This can be Leadership in your life and or Work, of your family, your community or your Leadership in fully expressing your lifes purpose. Please do not make the assumption that this is about Corporate Leadership only - it is that and it is much, much more.
If you have high Self-awareness then you have developed a sense of your life's purpose, you are vital and alive, you act from your internal compass (inner knowing, values etc). You consciously express your values in who you are being and what you are doing, you are trusted by others to 'walk your talk' and people respect you as someone who acts with Integrity (honours your values).
In addition, your sense of self-esteem is based upon an inherent appreciation of life as a journey of learning and development. You are not perfect and you accept that. In fact, you have a greater sense than most of your imperfections and you are always aware of making your peace with them.
You have the ability to be with the Paradox that shows up in yourself, others and the world. So, you accept the weak and under developed parts of yourself as a place to point yourself for inner growth, knowing that there will always be those parts in yourself and others.
You also admit it when you make mistakes and hurt others, and you use these experiences to improve your relationship with yourself and others.
You become less defensive when others criticize you, you are aware that the more you stretch yourself and follow your life purpose the more you leave yourself open to and available for the criticism of others.
You have less to defend because you are aware of the complexity within yourself, and this frees you up to engage powerfully and compassionately with others.
You lead in a way which strengthens the innate capabilities of others and when you see the weaknesses in others you are reminded of your own struggle to grow. Instead of Judging them you actually want them to grow and you actively want to be in service of their growth.
Others talents or successes do not intimidate you and this allows you to surround yourself with very capable people with whom you celebrate their achievements and growth!
How are you with holding the Paradox of right and wrong, strength and weakness, lightness and dark that lives within us all. Are you able to let go of living in a world of 100% either black or white, yes or no, right or wrong and invite the complexities of allowing these opposites to live within you and to allow them to live in the others around you??
Where are you on the scale of Self-awareness?
More to come on Assumptions and behaviours.....
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