Paying Attention to the impact we have....

It is interesting to me to 'simply notice' that we all (sweeping generalisation) go about not really thinking about the impact we want to have.  No really, in every interaction you are having with everyone you are with, everyone you talk to, or not, you are having an impact - don't you think that it would be powerful to be conscious about the impact you want to have?  I quote myself from the realisation I had of this, I said 'I'm having an impact anyway, I may as well be conscious of what I want that impact to be!'.

So, why don't we do this? What stops us bringing a positive energy into the discussions we have with loved ones, for instance? I know for me personally, I am more likely to think about it before I do my work, before a Coaching call or before leading a workshop and definitely before I go to an important meeting.  Yet, when it comes to the people I love, rarely do I think about the energy I want to bring into those discussions.

I wondered for years about 'unintended impact', is that about me? or is it about the other person? does it matter if its not intentional? and what became clear to me recently is that it really does matter, and not just with the interactions with other, but also with the interactions I have with myself.

If I am at peace with myself and being kind, loving, nurturing and nourishing to myself, physically, mentally and emotionally then the energy I bring to my relationships with others, is kind, loving, etc etc... and I can be less conscious because I know it is my 'way of being', if however, I am not being all those positive things then I will bring another kind of energy to my relationships!

How are you in relationship with yourself?
How do you talk to yourself?
How balanced is your life? and I don't just mean work and home...
How do you nurture yourself and nourish yourself, physically, mentally and emotionally?
What energies do you bring to those around you?
Are they intentional energies? Or unconscious?
What is your intended or unintended impact?

Dig around, see what you find.  Be curious about what you become aware of, don't judge yourself - it is what it is.  The real question is, What do you want to do about it? Or even how do you want to BE about it!

Sending love to you all and as we prepare for Christmas around the world, bring positive loving energy to those you love, take care of yourself and love and nurture yourself and those around you.  As you do this 'simply notice' the impact on yourself and others........Rx

Are you conscious of the beliefs that drive your behaviour!!

What do you want? A simple question isn't it? Yet most of us are much more able to articulate what we don't want... I promise you, if you work out what you want and put your energy into that, your life will be so much more simple.

What I am about to say may sound patronising, it isn't meant to. What I am trying to do here is to draw a distinction between two things that could sound the same, and yet they are very different.
So, here goes, this is about directing your energy towards what you do want....
I want to be slim as opposed to I don't want to be fat
I want to be look great in the summer, as opposed to I don't want to look fat in my bikini and so on, and so forth.

After 10 years of doing this work and after writing my last blog I found a new Gremlin who created some amazingly logical self limiting beliefs for me. What I will say, is that my thoughts around this were pretty habitual and I wasn't very conscious about what I was thinking and the beliefs that were affecting my behaviour.
So, meet my latest Gremlin - he's called. You'll never be slim again.. (add a frown for good luck).
Here are the beliefs he made up....
I can't workout without an instructor
I have to workout with specific instructors (that I like)
(making sure I never find any new instructors, as I didn't go to their classes)
It's hard to lose weight over 40, so you'll just be fat and 40+
I can't run
I'll never be able to run
I can't workout on my own
I can't create my own workout plan
(I used to be a personal trainer and Aerobics instructor!!)
He is also lazy and told me that if I worked out 3 or 4 times a week that I could eat and drink what I liked... he was trying to be kind to me.... (or maybe not).

So when I started thinking about where I had been putting my energy, I noticed that I was putting it into creating the work I wanted to do, travel, friends, creating the experiences I wanted to have in the future and not into what I wanted right now, which was not to carry so much weight, (that was taking lots of thought pattern and lots of internal dialog).
I decided to change the 'not carry too much weight' into being focused on getting fit, eating healthily and creating a sustainable diet that will mean I get into a specific pair of jeans that I love within the next couple of months. Sounds so simple doesn't it, and yet it has taken a lot of effort to, firstly realise what I was doing to myself and secondly, create the shift that really energised me into putting my energy into what I want.

So, now I go to lots of classes at the gym I never went to before,
I run on the treadmill for 30 mins about 3 times a week
I have found new class instructors that I really enjoy working out with
and more importantly, I feel great.

So 2.5 weeks in, I am 8lbs lighter (3.6ish kg) and am feeling great. It is six years this year since I stopped smoking and it is time to put my attention back on getting slim again. There is still a long way to go and I have my plan, it is not too ridged, as I find going from one extreme to the other doesn't work for me any more, so I have been out with friends, had the odd glass or wine or G&T when I wanted it and eaten some food which is not ideal and I've done it consciously and the weight is still coming off.

So, over to you, where do you have a Gremlin that creates self limiting beliefs for you and therefore creates behaviour that Sabotages the things that would make you happy?

Take a few minutes and ask yourself, what do I want? and am I putting any energy into it?
What are the Self Limiting Beliefs that stop me?
Do you want to choose something else?
I can't tell you the conversation I had with myself when I got onto the treadmill for the first few times (my Gremlin wanted me to get off, he didn't like it) and I just held on to my mantra - put your energy into what you want... that's what I kept thinking to myself and also I envisioned my 'target' Jeans. Classic Gremlin Taming I think you'll find... I can't believe I found a new one after all this time.....

So, over to you. Let me know what you find and how you get on. Most of all ENJOY!