So, you have tamed those Gremlins, noticed those habits that no longer serve you. You have become more self aware by taking training courses, hiring a coach, doing some leadership activities and continually practicing all the skills you have learned.
You are much more aware of who you are (self-awareness) and what's important to you (Values) you are making choices that serve the life you want to create (Vision of the future - based on your Values). You are noticing how you show up in relationship with others and the impact that you intend to have, you are also much more aware of who you are and how to be Authentically yourself. That unique amazing human being that was designed to be just perfect the way you are.
So what's next? Surely the next place to look is - What is the impact you want to have in your world? or the World? and how do you go about it? This is where the Leadership competency of Systems awareness is really important. Even when you are conscious and intentional about your impact, you could argue you are still in level 1, in your own opinion, judgements and experiences etc where you are the centre of attention. What we are looking for is for you to open your lens to take in a wider view of the world. Lets say a Metaview, where you and your world are just a small dot on the landscape of life and where you can have a much bigger impact than the boundaries of your small world.
With Systems awareness you are looking at the bigger picture, you are not just jumping in to fix symptoms. You look for the route cause. You are aware that the system design (be that work or life or even relationship, with yourself and/or others) and the way you operate is the cause of any issues or problems. You are also aware that it is new thinking and ways of being that will create a fundamental shift and you do not trying to work within the same old Paradigm(s). You know from within that you are able to create new systems, in any part of your life that will help you to naturally design the future you envision. You know that even making small changes in the current system will influence the outcome in the future.
You are able to think bigger than just what you want personally, you are able to think of the wider system (family, organisation or relationship) and you are able to see the connection between the long term well being of the community and its delicate relationship with that of the system that is in place.
If you score high in Systems awareness you know that you are an integral part of the whole, and that your actions both affect and reflect the systems larger culture. You are aware that cause and effect often are far removed in both space and time. It is clear to you that problems or issues can not be solved with the thinking that created them. You focus your legacy on contributing to the welfare of others and not on being remembered personally.
You are aware that you personally are a complex system, a mix of light and dark, strengths and weaknesses and that you reflect the world around you. You, once again, accept that when you see parts of other people you find unacceptable that it is just a reflection and points to parts of yourself that you have been unwilling or unable to take responsibility for.
Some of the behaviours that the above beliefs or operating system create are; you are aware that any relationship system needs to be constantly redesigned as we (those within the system) grow and evolve. You ensure that you have open dialogue about the long-term impact of current decisions. You take all the parts of the system into consideration when you start to plan your future, be it Organisationally, personally or in terms of your family. You include those people who are not directly in your system and try to consider the implications of your vision on them, even including them in the planning process - this could be Customer or Vendors if you are working within an Organisation or extended family or community members. You ensure that all the voices of the system are heard when making key decisions and you think about the wider impact of your decisions on the community and the environment.
Where is your Systems thinking limited?
Where do you take others into consideration?
Where are you tolerating a lack of awareness in yourself and others?
What's the gift of taking a Metaview on your life or any decision you a planning to make.
How will slowing down help?
What is the bigger picture?
Where do you want to have more impact your your community, relationships or the world?
Enjoy xx
Friday, 28 October 2011
Monday, 3 October 2011
The journey to Authenticity starts once you've established yourself in the land of self-awareness....
This is where I have been trying to get to for about the last 10 years, to be real and Authentic. I know in my heart and soul that being more of who we are naturally (on the inside) is the key to inner peace and outer success. As I write this, one question that keeps coming up for me is.....
How do you tell people what it feels like, its really hard to explain essence, essence in Systems Coaching terms..... the Systems coaches out there will tell you that essence is so hard to describe because it is exactly that... un-describable. Yeh, so that's the question, how do you tell people about the power of Authenticity when you know, they don't know, what they don't know.
For me Authenticity at the heart and is the heart of personal growth and human development. It takes courage to step into being more of who you are naturally, especially when most of us have allowed our Gremlins to run our lives for most of our time on this planet. Our Gremlins are more worried about what other people will think, and how they will judge us and whether or not we will succeed or fail and if we fail then what will happen....
Imagine how it could be if you focused all that wasted energy onto who you are and what you want to create. That is, to focus your energy towards conscious, intentional impact. This is what I mean when I talk about Authenticity.
Authenticity is your capacity to relate to others in an authentic, courageous and high integrity manner. It is a measure of Leadership that is an expression of your true self - not masked by politics, looking good or winning approval etc. It is also a measure of your willingness to bring up the 'un-discussibles' (risky issues that others avoid), you openly deal with relationship problems and share personal feelings and vulnerabilities about situations. Your inner and outer lives are congruent. Your behaviour matches your values and others trust that you can be counted on to keep your word, meet your commitments and deal with them honestly and fairly and remain true to your own purpose. Authenticity and Integrity are the qualities most desired in a leader.
Below are the internal assumptions that create authentic behaviours in people.
The internal assumptions associated with high levels of Authenticity are
- I am worthy whether people approve of me or not, whether I succeed or not
- Self worth, security and freedom and in my own hands
- I maintain my self-esteem and security by being true to myself
- My greatest source of power is my personal integrity (honouring my values)
- It is more important for me to be true to myself than it is to live up to other peoples expectations
- I am OK even if I make mistakes and hurt other peoples feelings
- I authentically admit my part in the problems we face
- The only way I lose face is by not being true to my Vision and Values
- Change starts with me, I must be the change I want to see in the world.
With those internal assumptions the behaviours that I demonstrate are as follows
- Being trusted by others (you make people feel safe)
- Having high personal integrity
- Directly and clearly addressing issues
- Speaking directly to issues without trying to smooth things over
- Acting courageously in personal interactions and meetings
- Respecting others opinions even if you disagree with it
- Staying open and honest about what you think and feel (even when you feel under attack)
- Managing conflict directly and openly with authenticity
- Surfacing issues that others are reluctant to talk about
- Speaking openly and confronting peers and authority when needed
- Being counted on to meet your commitments
- Exhibiting behaviour that is consistent with your Values
- Living your vision even when it involves taking risks
- Taking responsibility for your part in relationship issues
Where do you walk your talk?
Where do you struggle?
What happens when you are faced with inauthentic people?
How do you respond?
What is your role?
What is the value to you personally of being more of who you are naturally?
My Mantra is by being more of who I am naturally 'I can have more impact with less effort', that doesn't mean it is easy to undo the habits of the past.
What habits do you have left over from the past that no longer serve your vision of the future and the values you want to live your life by today?
How do you tell people what it feels like, its really hard to explain essence, essence in Systems Coaching terms..... the Systems coaches out there will tell you that essence is so hard to describe because it is exactly that... un-describable. Yeh, so that's the question, how do you tell people about the power of Authenticity when you know, they don't know, what they don't know.
For me Authenticity at the heart and is the heart of personal growth and human development. It takes courage to step into being more of who you are naturally, especially when most of us have allowed our Gremlins to run our lives for most of our time on this planet. Our Gremlins are more worried about what other people will think, and how they will judge us and whether or not we will succeed or fail and if we fail then what will happen....
Imagine how it could be if you focused all that wasted energy onto who you are and what you want to create. That is, to focus your energy towards conscious, intentional impact. This is what I mean when I talk about Authenticity.
Authenticity is your capacity to relate to others in an authentic, courageous and high integrity manner. It is a measure of Leadership that is an expression of your true self - not masked by politics, looking good or winning approval etc. It is also a measure of your willingness to bring up the 'un-discussibles' (risky issues that others avoid), you openly deal with relationship problems and share personal feelings and vulnerabilities about situations. Your inner and outer lives are congruent. Your behaviour matches your values and others trust that you can be counted on to keep your word, meet your commitments and deal with them honestly and fairly and remain true to your own purpose. Authenticity and Integrity are the qualities most desired in a leader.
Below are the internal assumptions that create authentic behaviours in people.
The internal assumptions associated with high levels of Authenticity are
- I am worthy whether people approve of me or not, whether I succeed or not
- Self worth, security and freedom and in my own hands
- I maintain my self-esteem and security by being true to myself
- My greatest source of power is my personal integrity (honouring my values)
- It is more important for me to be true to myself than it is to live up to other peoples expectations
- I am OK even if I make mistakes and hurt other peoples feelings
- I authentically admit my part in the problems we face
- The only way I lose face is by not being true to my Vision and Values
- Change starts with me, I must be the change I want to see in the world.
With those internal assumptions the behaviours that I demonstrate are as follows
- Being trusted by others (you make people feel safe)
- Having high personal integrity
- Directly and clearly addressing issues
- Speaking directly to issues without trying to smooth things over
- Acting courageously in personal interactions and meetings
- Respecting others opinions even if you disagree with it
- Staying open and honest about what you think and feel (even when you feel under attack)
- Managing conflict directly and openly with authenticity
- Surfacing issues that others are reluctant to talk about
- Speaking openly and confronting peers and authority when needed
- Being counted on to meet your commitments
- Exhibiting behaviour that is consistent with your Values
- Living your vision even when it involves taking risks
- Taking responsibility for your part in relationship issues
Where do you walk your talk?
Where do you struggle?
What happens when you are faced with inauthentic people?
How do you respond?
What is your role?
What is the value to you personally of being more of who you are naturally?
My Mantra is by being more of who I am naturally 'I can have more impact with less effort', that doesn't mean it is easy to undo the habits of the past.
What habits do you have left over from the past that no longer serve your vision of the future and the values you want to live your life by today?
Wednesday, 17 August 2011
Finding a life of fulfillment starts with the journey to Self-awareness........
If you score high on the self-awareness scale you will have some or all of these assumptions;
You'll know that you are inherently worthy and you'll feel secure from the Inside out.... and you'll know that it is not made up of how others see you, or by how you perform.
You know that inner development is the key to grow into more of who you are naturally and that we all, you included, contain a mix of strengths and weaknesses, of light and dark.
You know that the key to accepting others is to first do the work of self-acceptance, which enables you to know that when you find things that are unacceptable in others, it reflects aspects of yourself for which you are not taking responsibility.
The behaviours associated with scoring high on the scale of self-awareness are that you will show composure under pressure, knowing that others judgement of you matters less than your own internal compass.
You will be able to balance the demands of an adult life not sacrificing yourself or making yourself a victim or a martyr. You will not only be open to give and receive feedback you will openly welcome the opportunity to hear the impact your behaviour is having on others and strive to have the impact you intend.
You will also be willing and able to provide direct non-blaming feedback. In fact you will strive to provide information on the impact of behaviour on you plus point the other person to a place where they could have greater impact.
You are willing to admit your mistakes and use times when you fail as well as successes as a place to point yourself in terms of self-development.
You are willing and able to laugh at yourself and your situation and you take time to understand your own and others motivations, strengths and weaknesses.
So, self-awareness is where the journey from reactive strategies to creative competency starts. How aware are you of your internal assumptions and the behaviour they create?
Were do you solicit feedback and ask for areas of growth to focus on?
Or are you like me and say to yourself on a daily basis,
'Oh no, not another f***ing learning opportunity'....
Enjoy your journey of self-awareness and treasure every discovery as an explorer would when they find a new Island, country or animal species, be amazed by the complexity of the human race and be curious about the parts of yourself that you have yet to discover!
You'll know that you are inherently worthy and you'll feel secure from the Inside out.... and you'll know that it is not made up of how others see you, or by how you perform.
You know that inner development is the key to grow into more of who you are naturally and that we all, you included, contain a mix of strengths and weaknesses, of light and dark.
You know that the key to accepting others is to first do the work of self-acceptance, which enables you to know that when you find things that are unacceptable in others, it reflects aspects of yourself for which you are not taking responsibility.
The behaviours associated with scoring high on the scale of self-awareness are that you will show composure under pressure, knowing that others judgement of you matters less than your own internal compass.
You will be able to balance the demands of an adult life not sacrificing yourself or making yourself a victim or a martyr. You will not only be open to give and receive feedback you will openly welcome the opportunity to hear the impact your behaviour is having on others and strive to have the impact you intend.
You will also be willing and able to provide direct non-blaming feedback. In fact you will strive to provide information on the impact of behaviour on you plus point the other person to a place where they could have greater impact.
You are willing to admit your mistakes and use times when you fail as well as successes as a place to point yourself in terms of self-development.
You are willing and able to laugh at yourself and your situation and you take time to understand your own and others motivations, strengths and weaknesses.
So, self-awareness is where the journey from reactive strategies to creative competency starts. How aware are you of your internal assumptions and the behaviour they create?
Were do you solicit feedback and ask for areas of growth to focus on?
Or are you like me and say to yourself on a daily basis,
'Oh no, not another f***ing learning opportunity'....
Enjoy your journey of self-awareness and treasure every discovery as an explorer would when they find a new Island, country or animal species, be amazed by the complexity of the human race and be curious about the parts of yourself that you have yet to discover!
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
What is Self-awareness and why does it matter....
As I said earlier the Antidote to Protecting Strategy are the Creative Competencies of Self-Awareness, Authenticity and Systems Awareness. I will go on to talk about Self-Awareness in detail and before I do here is a reminder of the Assumptions and Behaviours that come from a learned and habitual use of the Protecting Strategy....
Assumptions are...
for me to be right, others have to be wrong
I am worthwhile if I am right and find the weakness in others
I am valuable because of my superior capability and insight
I am not good enough
I am safe and acceptable if I remain small, uninvolved and avoid risk
and Behaviours those assumptions create are....
Holding back and watching how situations unfold
Identifying what is wrong, illogical or lacking in plans, people or situations
Seeing the flaws in others thinking, feelings, speaking and actions
Always analyising what is right or wrong
Constant Judgement of self and others
The point of these blogs is to create the awareness that a fulfilled life comes from unlearning Reactive Strategies and re-learning Creative Competencies. A short cut to this is to get your Leadership Circle Profile done - so that you know where to start. Once you are certified in the TLC Profile, the Coaching Principles of Fulfillment, Balance and Process are the ideal tools to enable a coach to work with clients in service of their desire to move from the use of Reactive Strategies to Creative Competencies.
Anyway, back to the Creative Competency of Self-awareness as an antidote to the Reactive Strategy of Protecting.
Self-awareness is the on-going personal commitment to personal and professional development. It is also the degree to which your inner-self awareness is expressed through, balanced perspectives and high Integrity (values based) Leadership. This can be Leadership in your life and or Work, of your family, your community or your Leadership in fully expressing your lifes purpose. Please do not make the assumption that this is about Corporate Leadership only - it is that and it is much, much more.
If you have high Self-awareness then you have developed a sense of your life's purpose, you are vital and alive, you act from your internal compass (inner knowing, values etc). You consciously express your values in who you are being and what you are doing, you are trusted by others to 'walk your talk' and people respect you as someone who acts with Integrity (honours your values).
In addition, your sense of self-esteem is based upon an inherent appreciation of life as a journey of learning and development. You are not perfect and you accept that. In fact, you have a greater sense than most of your imperfections and you are always aware of making your peace with them.
You have the ability to be with the Paradox that shows up in yourself, others and the world. So, you accept the weak and under developed parts of yourself as a place to point yourself for inner growth, knowing that there will always be those parts in yourself and others.
You also admit it when you make mistakes and hurt others, and you use these experiences to improve your relationship with yourself and others.
You become less defensive when others criticize you, you are aware that the more you stretch yourself and follow your life purpose the more you leave yourself open to and available for the criticism of others.
You have less to defend because you are aware of the complexity within yourself, and this frees you up to engage powerfully and compassionately with others.
You lead in a way which strengthens the innate capabilities of others and when you see the weaknesses in others you are reminded of your own struggle to grow. Instead of Judging them you actually want them to grow and you actively want to be in service of their growth.
Others talents or successes do not intimidate you and this allows you to surround yourself with very capable people with whom you celebrate their achievements and growth!
How are you with holding the Paradox of right and wrong, strength and weakness, lightness and dark that lives within us all. Are you able to let go of living in a world of 100% either black or white, yes or no, right or wrong and invite the complexities of allowing these opposites to live within you and to allow them to live in the others around you??
Where are you on the scale of Self-awareness?
More to come on Assumptions and behaviours.....
Assumptions are...
for me to be right, others have to be wrong
I am worthwhile if I am right and find the weakness in others
I am valuable because of my superior capability and insight
I am not good enough
I am safe and acceptable if I remain small, uninvolved and avoid risk
and Behaviours those assumptions create are....
Holding back and watching how situations unfold
Identifying what is wrong, illogical or lacking in plans, people or situations
Seeing the flaws in others thinking, feelings, speaking and actions
Always analyising what is right or wrong
Constant Judgement of self and others
The point of these blogs is to create the awareness that a fulfilled life comes from unlearning Reactive Strategies and re-learning Creative Competencies. A short cut to this is to get your Leadership Circle Profile done - so that you know where to start. Once you are certified in the TLC Profile, the Coaching Principles of Fulfillment, Balance and Process are the ideal tools to enable a coach to work with clients in service of their desire to move from the use of Reactive Strategies to Creative Competencies.
Anyway, back to the Creative Competency of Self-awareness as an antidote to the Reactive Strategy of Protecting.
Self-awareness is the on-going personal commitment to personal and professional development. It is also the degree to which your inner-self awareness is expressed through, balanced perspectives and high Integrity (values based) Leadership. This can be Leadership in your life and or Work, of your family, your community or your Leadership in fully expressing your lifes purpose. Please do not make the assumption that this is about Corporate Leadership only - it is that and it is much, much more.
If you have high Self-awareness then you have developed a sense of your life's purpose, you are vital and alive, you act from your internal compass (inner knowing, values etc). You consciously express your values in who you are being and what you are doing, you are trusted by others to 'walk your talk' and people respect you as someone who acts with Integrity (honours your values).
In addition, your sense of self-esteem is based upon an inherent appreciation of life as a journey of learning and development. You are not perfect and you accept that. In fact, you have a greater sense than most of your imperfections and you are always aware of making your peace with them.
You have the ability to be with the Paradox that shows up in yourself, others and the world. So, you accept the weak and under developed parts of yourself as a place to point yourself for inner growth, knowing that there will always be those parts in yourself and others.
You also admit it when you make mistakes and hurt others, and you use these experiences to improve your relationship with yourself and others.
You become less defensive when others criticize you, you are aware that the more you stretch yourself and follow your life purpose the more you leave yourself open to and available for the criticism of others.
You have less to defend because you are aware of the complexity within yourself, and this frees you up to engage powerfully and compassionately with others.
You lead in a way which strengthens the innate capabilities of others and when you see the weaknesses in others you are reminded of your own struggle to grow. Instead of Judging them you actually want them to grow and you actively want to be in service of their growth.
Others talents or successes do not intimidate you and this allows you to surround yourself with very capable people with whom you celebrate their achievements and growth!
How are you with holding the Paradox of right and wrong, strength and weakness, lightness and dark that lives within us all. Are you able to let go of living in a world of 100% either black or white, yes or no, right or wrong and invite the complexities of allowing these opposites to live within you and to allow them to live in the others around you??
Where are you on the scale of Self-awareness?
More to come on Assumptions and behaviours.....
Thursday, 28 July 2011
What behaviours do those beliefs create in us and others.......
If our beliefs are our 'operating system' then they drive our behaviours, they are the external expression of our internal assumptions.... so if the antidote to Protecting is Authenticity (and self and systems awareness - more to come later on those). Then what behaviour do those internal feelings of self-worth, strong self-esteem, personal integrity and personal power create.
The behaviours associated with Authenticity beliefs are
Being trusted by others, Having high personal integrity,
Directly addressing issues that get in the way of relationships or team performance
Speaking directly to the issues without smoothing them over
Acting courageously in personal interactions and meetings
Being able to respect someone else's opinion even if you disagree with it
Staying open and honest about what you think and feel
Managing conflict directly and authentically
Being willing to bring up and talk about issues that others are reluctant to talk about
Confronting people, including superiors, when needed
Being counted on to meet your commitments
Exhibiting personal behaviour consistent with your values
Taking responsibility for your part in relationship and other problems
Speaking openly in the presence of 'authorities'
Living by an effective set of core values
Holding on to your values during good and bad times
Living your vision in every encounter even when that requires risk.
So, you live your life Authentically, give real feedback, have real conversations and you admit your mistakes. You put yourself at risk for what you believe and value openness over popularity. Integrity and authenticity are what people trust the most. It is the source of your power!
Now have think about how familiar these behaviours are and which beliefs they come from ... and notice they are not just what we expect of ourselves, this is who other people know us to be!
We are digging in to the Leadership Circle Profiling tool here and the Adult stages of development. There is a certification programme for TLC in London on 22nd Nov if you are curious and want to get certified in this material. Of course the way to get certified is to get your own profile completed and see how you perceive yourself and what the gap is in between that and how others perceive you. Give me a shout if you are interested in either having your own profile done or attending the certification in London.
During Certification you use your own profile to learn how to interpret the profile of others! It is very powerful work.
Thanks for reading....
The behaviours associated with Authenticity beliefs are
Being trusted by others, Having high personal integrity,
Directly addressing issues that get in the way of relationships or team performance
Speaking directly to the issues without smoothing them over
Acting courageously in personal interactions and meetings
Being able to respect someone else's opinion even if you disagree with it
Staying open and honest about what you think and feel
Managing conflict directly and authentically
Being willing to bring up and talk about issues that others are reluctant to talk about
Confronting people, including superiors, when needed
Being counted on to meet your commitments
Exhibiting personal behaviour consistent with your values
Taking responsibility for your part in relationship and other problems
Speaking openly in the presence of 'authorities'
Living by an effective set of core values
Holding on to your values during good and bad times
Living your vision in every encounter even when that requires risk.
So, you live your life Authentically, give real feedback, have real conversations and you admit your mistakes. You put yourself at risk for what you believe and value openness over popularity. Integrity and authenticity are what people trust the most. It is the source of your power!
Now have think about how familiar these behaviours are and which beliefs they come from ... and notice they are not just what we expect of ourselves, this is who other people know us to be!
We are digging in to the Leadership Circle Profiling tool here and the Adult stages of development. There is a certification programme for TLC in London on 22nd Nov if you are curious and want to get certified in this material. Of course the way to get certified is to get your own profile completed and see how you perceive yourself and what the gap is in between that and how others perceive you. Give me a shout if you are interested in either having your own profile done or attending the certification in London.
During Certification you use your own profile to learn how to interpret the profile of others! It is very powerful work.
Thanks for reading....
Friday, 22 July 2011
What is the antidote.....
Internal assumptions are the beliefs you use to organise your identity... and the antidote to protecting behaviour is Authenticity. Some internal assumptions associated with Authenticity include...
I am worthy whether people approve of me or not, whether I succeed or not
Self worth, freedom, and security are in my own hands
My greatest source of power is my personal integrity (being true to myself)
It is more important to me to remain true to myself than to live up to others expectations
I am OK, even if I make mistakes or hurt other peoples feelings
I authentically admit my part in the problems we face
The only way I lose face is by not being true to my Vision and Values
Change starts with me, I must be the change I want to see in the world....
More on the behaviours these beliefs create at a later date....
I am worthy whether people approve of me or not, whether I succeed or not
Self worth, freedom, and security are in my own hands
My greatest source of power is my personal integrity (being true to myself)
It is more important to me to remain true to myself than to live up to others expectations
I am OK, even if I make mistakes or hurt other peoples feelings
I authentically admit my part in the problems we face
The only way I lose face is by not being true to my Vision and Values
Change starts with me, I must be the change I want to see in the world....
More on the behaviours these beliefs create at a later date....
Monday, 18 July 2011
Where do you 'come' from.......
So, depending on where I come from (or who I am being) the 'doing' will have a different meaning.
Am I going to the gym because I want to keep my body fit and healthy and honour my value of longevity? Or am I going to the gym because I 'have to!’
Am I hiring a coach because I want to the personal growth, or am I hiring a coach because it says I have to have one during my leadership programme? So I am fulfilling the requirements and 'ticking the boxes'.
Can you feel the difference in the 'come from’? One comes from an external place, so that this or that does or doesn't happen to me, or so that this or that person gets what they want. The other comes from a place of being connected to oneself and ones values....
The place you come from ‘infects’ the thing you are doing with the attitude you have in your approach to it. Where do you have an approach or an attitude that empowers and supports the things that you choose to do? Also, think about where you have an attitude or approach that dis-empowers the things you choose to do.
A very wise person once said to me that people typically show up in one of two ways, as a victim of circumstance or as someone who treats whatever happens to them as an opportunity to learn and grow… which type of person are you? Which type do you want to be?
As I write this I am reminded of the book ‘power and love’ by Adam Kahne and the distinction that he makes between ‘generative’ and ‘degenerative’ Power and Love….
I know that is a bit of a left turn for some of you, or maybe not. The point being that Generative Power and Love are the way to create real change in the world. What I mean by generative is to give power to, to empower people. To treat them as naturally creative, resourceful and whole, knowing that nothing is broken and nothing needs fixing.
I believe that we have Generative or Degenerative attitudes to things and to people and that depending on our attitude we may or may not have the impact we desire.
How do we step out of those degenerative positions and step into generative beings, who know we are loved and who know we are good enough. Who understand that we are loved and respected and that is true all of the time, not just some of the time. People don’t get upset with each other because of what they believe; people get upset because of a behaviour or lack of behaviour. Because we either do or don’t do something that someone was expecting.
How do we stop running away from people, how do we stay engaged, even and more importantly when the going gets tough? Staying engaged in a generative way and saying in dialogue and holding on to the fact that people don’t get upset with us as people, they just get upset at the way we behave. It’s really important to remember this in all of the systems we work in or are part of. Why? Well because we all make mistakes and if we can’t stay engaged life will become isolated and lonely.
Where do you stay and where do you run away?
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